lana del rey – ‘blue jeans’ video

Yes that’s right: amazingly, Lana Del Rey didn’t disappear into the black hole of her own hype the second Born To Die appeared. To this writer anyway, this is a Good Thing. I LOVE YOU LANA (and want your hair please because it is amazing).

Below is the new video for ‘Blue Jeans’, the follow-up to Tigergate aka. ‘Born To Die’. What can we learn about Ms. Del Rey’s ‘process’ from this video?

1. The time is ripe to start ripping off Apocalypse Now. Again.

I don’t remember Willard having bigger earrings than Pat Butcher but what the hell, we’ll go with it.

2. All girls are perverts.

It’s nice that a music video finally acknowledges that yes, girls actually do quite fancy looking at blokes with their tops off, oddly enough. Well done for redressing the balance of a gazillion rap videos with giant baps for girls. WELL DONE EVERYONE.

3. Life-threatening animals are our friends! (also: ‘All girls are perverts: part 2′)

I mean you have to assume so anyway. That’s a bit more up-close-and-personal with any animal with giant pointy teeth than I’d personally get, but then again I have been out of Hackney for the last month so maybe I’m just out of practice.

4. But sex equals death in Hollywoodland so this makes it all sad.

For heavens’ sake, the poor girl’s clearly all sexed out from all the cavorting with reptiles both human and animal. Is she not entitled to a rest once in a while?! You know, a nap, maybe some pizza or something…

Bonus points for death by All The Elements. We can safely assume that the next video will involve LDR’s adventures with a giant airvent, yes?